Finding the Perfect Dog
How many times have mothers and fathers expressed, when their little tykes were still in diapers, that they want her or him to grow up to be an accountant, doctor, musician, etc.?
Whether we want our kids to follow in our footsteps, follow our unfulfilled dreams or perhaps follow the path of a profession that seems steady, it sometimes has little to do with what little Amy or Ronnie has the desire or aptitude for.
Years ago, I met a married couple who were successful attorneys. To their great disappointment, their only child did not follow the same career path because he was a creative type who became a cartoonist. It appeared to me that they spent more time lamenting their son’s career path and didn’t stop to understand who he was, how fulfilled he might be, or conversely how miserable he might be, had he tried to please them by becoming an attorney.
I think we often feel the same pressure to have our definition of the perfect dog, which could translate to having the dog who can go to the dog park and exhibit great play skills, can walk down the street and love every dog or unfamiliar person she meets, can acclimate to noisy environments, not to mention loves babies and children. We have a laundry list of what we think is the perfect dog and from my observations, these things are too often rooted in who we are as humans without considering who the dog is.
Some of us adopt a squishy puppy, but do not follow guidelines for socializing Pup, whereas some of us adopt an adult dog or adolescent whose socialization window ended long ago, meaning her earlier experiences are a huge factor in who she is. Yes, of course at any stage in our dog’s life, we can train “Fido” to do tasks as well as condition her so that, for example, her fear of certain environmental stimuli is reduced, but just like a human, you cannot redo their childhood or change who they are. A dog who is not enthused about playing fetch can be taught to retrieve, however if that same dog has a talent for say climbing or hurdling over obstacles, a careful observing dog-parent might be doing Fido a favor by choosing an activity that her dog loves.
Not every Fido is a social butterfly and rather than putting undo pressure on the dog to meet and greet unfamiliar dogs in dog parks, where in many cases, Fido is put in a position to defend herself, or do some other seemingly undesirable behavior due to stress relief, we should recognize what Fido likes to do. So how about walking leisurely in a forest preserve, being allowed to sniff to her heart’s content, all the new and delicious scents?
My own dogs have their limits on what they’re comfortable with, and of course I will always be their advocate, so I don’t put them in situations where they are stressed. Additionally, I recognized long ago, that my overly friendly bulldog was NOT a good candidate to meet children, as she sees them as toys, and becomes highly aroused in their presence. She was not raised around children, however I continue to have her make the connection between children and good stuff happening, but I do not have unrealistic expectations that she will become a “nanny” :)
Is your dog less perfect because he or she doesn’t meet your expectations? I can’t answer that, but I would ask you what you are doing to discover who your dog is and find things that they enjoy doing that doesn’t compromise their safety or the safety of the public.
On the other hand, you can purchase a stuffed dog from the toy store. They are perfect :)
HAPPY TRAINING & ENRICHMENT!
© Fran Berry CPDT-KA, UW-AAB all rights reserved 2021
