Buyer’s Remorse

I decided after adding up all the money I had recently put into my 20 year old car, it was time to consider replacing old Susan, as she was called. She didn’t have many miles so I justified keeping her, however, sadly it was time to let her go.

That’s when I decided to get a roomy SUV that could haul my dogs, work equipment, and even more friends, or at least the ones who trusted my driving.

While I should have been thrilled to be driving this much fancier model, I soon realized that I had no clue that in 20 years the technology had changed so much that I practically had to go back to school to learn how to drive Suzanne, as I named her.

The excitement of getting a new car, blurred how unprepared I was to deal with this huge computer on wheels. Had I not let my emotions run the show, I would have learned how to prepare myself and because I didn’t, I found myself thinking about trading the high maintenance, Susanne for a simpler “Sue” kind of car. This was definitely a case of buyer’s remorse which is costly, not only financially, but also emotionally.

As always, you’ve got to be wondering what the heck this has to do with dog training, and as always, I will digress…

I do not know if the big urge to adopt dogs has its roots in the pandemic, but it certainly seems that due to having to work at home, many people opted to get a dog. I suppose this seemed like an opportunity that hadn’t presented itself until then.

The same people, I suspect, who gave, “Work worked long hours”, as the reason they couldn’t possibly adopt a dog, were now getting puppies and older dogs as well. What was once seen as a temporary work situation, has become the norm with many companies, and from where I’m sitting, this means more dogs in homes with work-at-home pet-parents.

But here’s the problem. The only thing that has changed is their commute, however the long hours on the phone, Zoom meetings, writing and such is bound to get in the way of balancing work and the dog’s needs, and that goes triple time for a puppy! Who would have thought that caring for a dog was such a huge financial, emotional and time commitment?

The latest research has revealed that even when fully mature, a dog has the learning capacity of a human toddler which means Pup isn’t going to peacefully hang out all day in a cage waiting for the pet-parent to finish work. These toddler-brain animals, in addition to the basics of food, water and toys need mental and physical exercise, security, and way to express their species specific behaviors, none of which are going to be met by putting them in isolation!

Unmet needs mean more expression of undesirable behaviors, and that’s where I suspect pet-parents feel the pressure of buyers remorse. This results in rehoming, dumping the dog in the forest preserve, yes this is a thing, or being euthanized in one of the many over crowded shelters!

Thankfully the typical clients who call me aren’t calling to dump their dog, but they are feeling the pressure of remorse and guilt, so they look to me to change the dog’s behavior. Sadly, the only way the dog’s behavior is going to change is if the human is willing to change their behavior!

Similar to how I was feeling about my car purchase, and the faulty thinking that I should have purchased something with less maintenance, I realized that I needed to learn what it would take to drive it and keep it in good running order because  ALL cars are computer on wheels and ALL dogs are sentient beings that need pet-parents to learn what it’s going to take to accommodate their pet!

So yes, I read up on the new technology, schedule regular maintenance appointments with the service station, and I’m even learning how to appreciate when the car tells me to stop before I hit a pedestrian or parked car, although that may be a reason to make an eye doctor appointment.

If you have a dog, I highly recommend that you realize that they are not toys to put on a shelf until it’s convenient for you to play. I can appreciate that perhaps you didn’t think this through, but sometimes humans don’t think through the decision to have kids, which are more difficult to re home, I’ve heard.

If you have remorse, then find a good source to educate yourself, ideally BEFORE you become a pet-parent!

HAPPY TRAINING & ENRICHMENT

© Fran Berry CPDT-KA, UW-AAB all rights reserved 2024